I just feel the need to write about today. Far too often, unspeakably horrible things happen in this world. Today was just such a day. I was going about my business when I read about something happening in Connecticut. I immediately looked for more information. My stomach flipped and my heart broke when I read that someone walked into an elementary school and killed adults and so many innocent children. I could barely believe that someone could do such an atrocious thing. I thought of those sweet children's parents and how one person's actions has taken away their precious angels.

My heart aches for those affected by this event. I have shed many tears for them today. I have seen a loved one lose a child and I would not wish that on anyone. I have never seen such grief. I pray for those families to have comfort since I know they will not have peace yet. I pray for them to not be angry. I pray for them to feel the love of God in this unbelievably difficult time. I shed tears for the people taken from this earth. I shed tears for their families and friends. I shed tears for the poor tormented soul that did this. He will feel this grief one hundred fold and I pity him.

For those who remain behind and must feel the grief now, I pray that they will be able to feel the healing power of the atonement. It cannot bring their loved ones back, but it can help heal the pain and suffering brought by this awful tragedy. This nation stands beside them at this devastating time and many of us are sending prayers their way.

May our Heavenly Father's love and comfort be with us all at this time.

Just one of those days

I said something stupid to someone I really care about. Her feelings were very hurt. I apologized and tried to make it right. We both thought it was. Someone else stepped in and told me I was a terrible person. I was a jerk to them. It escalated. I almost lost the first person as a friend. Thank goodness she forgave me for all of it. It has been a really rough day. I'm just grateful for such a forgiving friend who loves me even when I am an idiot. People like her are few and far between and deserve to be cherished.

Thankfully, I Forgot Yesterday

I am not really thankful that I forgot yesterday. It is more that yesterday was difficult and I was not very grateful. Today has been better so far.

#3: Yesterday I was thankful for outside time. I try to spend at least 15 minutes outside every day. For my own sanity as much as for the Bean's. He needs a change of scene most days since our apartment is just not big enough for his need to explore.

#4: Today I am thankful for the Sacrament. I can't pay attention to much of church since I have to chase a squirmy kiddo around, so I have to focus on what I can and he is usually good until at least after the most important part of church.

Being Thankful 1 and 2

I am going to attempt to blog 1 thing I am thankful for every day this November. I am already a little behind the 8-ball on it, but 2 is better than 29.

#1: I am thankful that my little man does not have a lazy eye. There was some concern that his right eye might be very slightly weaker than his left. We went to the optometrist yesterday and found out that his vision is just right for his age. I'm also thankful that everyone at the optometrist was just wonderful! They all did everything in their power to help him have the best experience possible and everyone thought he was just the cutest thing ever.

#2: I am thankful for oral steroids. Bean has croup and sleeping has been a challenge. Coughing does not lend itself to good sleep. Thankfully, the doctor prescribed oral steroids to help with the inflammation in his trachea. He only woke up once last night instead of 4 times like the night before. That meant a little more sleep for me and more sleep for him.

If Only

Have you ever wanted to be somewhere so much that it makes your heart ache just thinking about it? I am dealing with that right now. I want to be in Las Vegas on November third. I want to see Sara Lauren, my first roommate, get married to a wonderful man. I want to celebrate her big day with her...

but I can't. I can't because we don't have $350 for me to fly out there. I can't because we don't have money for a hotel. I can't because people don't let a 23 year old rent a car. 

I will have to celebrate from afar. I will have to miss my roomie's big day. I will have to content myself with pictures of her smiling face.

Free Photo Book

I got a free 8x8 photo book from Shutterfly. Here it is.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Create a gorgeous, high quality wedding photo album at Shutterfly.com.

On The Excitement of New Things

New Thing #1: Casey has two new jobs to replace his two old jobs! He is working at a hotel in the area and up at the school instead of working at Subway and Pizza Hut. Saying that I am thrilled to have him home most nights is  an impossibly large understatement. He works longer hours, but somehow, having him home at night is better for me than him being home all day and leaving right before the Bean gets fussy. We were also worried that money would be even tighter than usual with the Hut being closed until it moves to the new location. Thank heaven for answered prayers.

New Thing #2: I am selling Avon. I have always been kind of wary of direct sales type things. I am not a salesperson. I always feel like I am bothering people or being obnoxious, but this is actually really good for me. It gives me things to look forward to and something other than Facebook or Netflix to keep me occupied. I have had a pretty awesome outpouring of support even when people don't have the extra money to buy things. Basically, I have super amazing friends and family, but that is nothing new.

New Thing #3: The Bean learning so much all the time! He just doesn't stop. It is so cool to watch him figure things out, imitate us, and just generally be awesome. He says Mama, Dada, Hi, Yeah, Ball, and probably some other words that I just can't distinguish. He runs, throws balls, stacks blocks, and tries to eat with a spoon. He eats pretty much anything as long as he is in the mood for it. He loves green beans, chicken, and macaroni. He sticks his leg out when I am getting his pants or socks on. Basically, I think my son is awesome. Here is some proof!

Spelling "box", not really, but we can pretend

Sleeping, like a boss

Everything is a phone

Spaghetti night is the best!

Invisible roller coaster

Drunk, bowler hat Bean

This is seriously the best face ever

Like I said, everything is a phone

Last new thing: FALL!!! I love love LOVE fall! Pumpkins, apples, sweaters, scarves, boots, and not roasting to death! Fall is without question my favorite season. I am so happy about fall. Ok, the end.

Starry, Starry Night

Vincent van Gogh is my favortie artist. I love his works. About 18 months ago I bought The Letters of Vincent van Gogh. It has been slow going, since I have not had as much time or energy to devote to reading as I would like. That being said, I have tried to renew interest in reading by going back to this wonderful collection.

I was reading a letter that van Gogh wrote in July of 1880 and a paragraph really struck me as profound.

But I cannot help but thinking that the best way of knowing God is to love many things. Love this friend, this person, this thing, whatever you like, and you will be on the right road to understanding Him better, that is what I keep telling myself. But you must love with a sublime, genuine, profound sympathy, with devotion, with intelligence, and you must try all the time to understand Him more, better and yet more. That will lead to God, that will lead to an unshakable faith.

As soon as I finished reading that paragraph, I thought, "wow, he really understood the pure love of Christ." And even if he didn't, he sure knew how to write about it. Just some deep thoughts for your day.

Moderates For Reasonable Candidates

I am a political moderate. I wasn't always, but I am now. In an increasingly partisan system, it is hard for me to find a candidate I can get behind. This coming election is no exception. With a plethora of candidates and viewpoints, I have only really decided on a couple of them. for the first time in my life, I will be voting for a Democrat! I know, right? How strange for me. No, not Obama. Tim Kaine!

I am really excited about his platform. He is more moderate than any of the candidates running for senate in VA. I came to the decision in part because of my good friend Sara S. She is working on his campaign, which is awesome. She asked Casey and me to come walk in our local Labor day parade in support of Tim Kaine. It was really fun! The group was pretty big and enthusiastic. I'm glad I had the opportunity to participate in such a great event.

We did feel a little out of place since we are not Obama people, but I think it is important to vote for candidates that you believe in no matter what their party may be. Being a moderate can be hard, but if more candidates were moderate and willing to compromise like Tim Kaine, I would be a happier voter.

Twenty Things

Prompt Three: Twenty Things About Me

These are all pretty random

1. If I had to choose one food to eat for the rest of my life it would be Sushi. I LOVE sushi! I could eat for every meal and be perfectly happy. Raw, cooked, it doesn't matter. It is all good.

2. I have always wished I had red hair. I think my hair is boring. Brown is just so average. Brunettes never get the same attention as blondes or redheads. I hated that as a kid and teenager.

3. I still sleep with a teddy bear. It is the same teddy bear I have slept with since I was little. His name is snowball. He is a polar bear. I cuddle my husband and I cuddle Snowball. That is just how I roll.

4. I used to hate being tall, but now I love it! I love being able to reach things that are on the top shelf, I love my fabulous long legs, and I love how skinny it makes me look.

5. I don't hate many foods, but I HATE olives. They make me want to barf. I hate the smell, I hate the taste, I even hate kissing Casey after he has eaten them. I am not picky about much of anything, but olives should die.

6. I love decorating with blues and greens. They just make me so happy. I would decorate my entire house in blues and greens if I could.

7. My angry music is Simple Plan. I can belt it with no worries about being on key. I love some good angry white boys singing about being repressed.

8. I suck at drawing. I have tried over and over to get better, but I am just not good at it. An art major with no drawing skills? Yup, that was me. 

9. Dealing with money makes my stomach hurt. I do it because I have to, but I would be much happier if I wasn't so stressed about money all the time.

10. I love flip-flops. I would wear them all year round if my feet didn't get cold so easily.

11. On the other hand, I hate summer. I hate the heat, humidity, and bugs. I would love to have it be fall and winter all year round. Sweaters make me so happy.

12. I am a really good cook. I hardly ever use a recipe unless I am cooking something new. The only problem with that is I can never really replicate a meal.

13. I miss reading. I can't really do it when the Bean is awake and I am so tired when he is asleep that I have no taste for it. Maybe I just need to find something worth reading.

14. I'm a pretty big geek. I was raised on Star Trek, Star Wars, Monty Python, Hitchhiker's Guide, and others. I have added to that repertoire over the years, of course, but my parents started the love of all things geekdom.

15. I feel like I can't be myself in new social situations if I want to make friends. I am not very confident with my personality sometimes.

16. I love sharpies! I have them in pretty much every color. They just make me happy.

17. Running makes it very hard for me to breathe, so I am not a sports person. I love watching sports, but I don't like playing them at all.

18. I almost got kicked out of a high school lacrosse game for being an "overly aggressive fan." I apologized and thankfully my school's team didn't get in trouble for my overzealous behavior. I guess it isn't really appropriate to yell "kill him" and "hit him in the crotch" repeatedly.

19. Christmas is my all-time favorite holiday. I love decorating, baking, wrapping presents, giving presents, the food, and pretty much everything else.

20. When I met Daniel Radcliffe I actually had to try really hard not to burst into tears. I kept it together really well and had my crazy fangirl moment after he was gone. I figure he gets enough nutcases harassing him already and I should at least try and be a normal person. It was definitely in the top 5 awesomest moments of my life.

More Prompts

• When and where were you born?

January 24, 1989. 2ish pm. West Berlin, Germany. I was my mom's early birthday present.

• Where did you grow up?

All over. Germany, Utah, Maryland, Virginia, Georgia. Army dad, that is all I really need to say. 

• What was it like?

I don't really remember Germany. Utah was great, before I knew better. Maryland was... interesting. Virginia was good for a while, but there were some really hard things that happened at church there. Georgia is probably my favorite, aside from the crappy school system and humidity. Riding a golfcart to the store? Heck yes!

• Who were your parents?

Well, Mike and Barbara Stacey are still my parents.

• What were your parents like?

My dad is very introverted. He was tough, but not bad tough. He just let us know what was what and stuck to it.

My mom is a lot like me. She is outspoken, a little crazy, and very intense.

They are both major geeks and raised my brother and me as such.

• How was your relationship with your parents

I am a daddy's girl, but I have always been really close to both of my parents. We've had disagreements, but we never really fought about anything. I still find it nigh unto impossible to lie to either one of them. Not that I ever really have a reason, but still.

• Did you get into trouble? What was the worst thing you did?

 Not often. I was the "good child." My big bro was not a bad kid, just belligerent. I learned to not talk back and in return, I earned trust. The worst thing I did? Ran away... when I was like, 5. I would load up a bunch of stuff and walk around the block. That is about it. I never broke curfew or anything like that. Although I did run from a security guard on my golfcart once. We were driving it on the golf course... they don't really like that.

• Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?

I have just the one brother. He was was stubborn and hated me tagging along all the time, but I wanted to hang out with my big bro. 

• What did you look like?

A flyaway haired mess. I went through an awkward phase that lasted much longer than any awkward phase should. I prefer to not think about it. 

• How would you describe yourself as a child? Were you happy?

I guess so. I would sit in my room and read or sit on the couch and read or go outside and read. I did other things too, but I was a huge reader. I would check out 6 or 7 books at a time from the library and read all of them before we went back.

• What is your best memory of childhood? Worst?

Best memory? I have no idea. There are lots of good things, but I don't think I can pick any of them out as best. If we are talking teenage years then that would be easy, but I'll save that story for another day.  Worst? When my grandpa called to tell us my Aunt Kay had died. That was really hard. 

• Did you have a nickname? How’d you get it? 

Ewe. It is a female sheep. That is what my name means and when my parents brought me home from the hospital I was wearing a fluffy, sheep-like, outfit. 

• Who were your best friends? What were they like?

In Utah: the Maxwells and Sorina Busch. the Maxwells were homeschooled like me and we played together all the time. Sorina was the youngest of a lot of siblings and we loved to play on my trampoline. One time, the four of us quoted the entire Lion King from start to finish, including songs. We were weird kids.

• How would you describe a perfect day when you were young?

Reading, eating Hawaiian smoked chicken, and playing in the snow.

• What did you think your life would be like when you were older?

I thought I would be married, have a bunch of kids, and be the perfect homemaker. Also, I own a horse and am the Queen of Boogeyland.

• Do you have any favorite stories from your childhood?

I once ran into our sliding glass door. And when I say ran I mean full on running. My brother told me there were monsters in the backyard so when I took the garbage out one night I ran down the stairs of our second story deck, and ran back up them to the door. SMACK! That was not so fun. Now I think it is hilarious!

Stolen From Shaferland

prompt one: three things



So, I stole this from Shaferland. I need more things to blog about, since so many people follow my blog *sarcasm sign*.



 3 Things You Can't Go Without


1) Sleep. I need at least 8 hours or I am not a fun person to be around.


2) Casey. He keeps me sane.


3) Bacon and Sushi. I know that makes it four, but seriously, 9 months with no raw salmon was the hardest thing about being pregnant, and I can eat an unhealthy amount of bacon.




3 Celebrity Crushes


1) Daniel Radcliffe. Seriously had the biggest dorkgasm ever when I got him to sign my arm. Holy crap... I freaking met him!


2) Hugh Jackman. I know he is a bit older, but he is some delicious eye candy.


3) I'm going to have to go with John Krasinski as my third.




3 Favorite Book Characters


1) Ginny Weasley. Love of her life leaves, she rebels against the bad guys and is just generally awesome.


2) Elizabeth Bennett. Do I really need to explain this one?


3) Samwise Gamgee. He is unwavering. When he imagines what he could do with the ring, he imagines a nice house and a family. How legit is that?





3 Favorite Things to Wear


1) Jeans


2) Flip flops


3) A sweet awesome dress




3 Things You Want in a Relationship


1) Communication


2) Mutual interests


3) Division of responsibilities




If you had to evacuate your home because of a natural disaster, what 3 things would you take with you?


1) My family


2) My computer and external hard drive


3) The Argentina jar. It is the money we are saving to go to Argentina.




3 Pet Peeves


1) Chewing with your mouth open, chewing on ice, and just chewing loudly! So many chewing pet peeves.


2) People who say "I could care less." SAY IT RIGHT!!! It is "I couldn't care less."


3) People who slow down to under the speed limit when they see a cop. The cop will not pull you over for going the speed limit. Sheesh!




3 Things You'd Do if You Weren't So Afraid


1) Tell someone something that has been on my mind for a while. Vague much?


2) Take another drawing class.


3) Only be friends with the people that I choose instead of those that are chosen for me in one way or another. Wow... that kind of makes me sound like I hate all my friends. I don't, really I don't.





3 Favorite TV Shows


1) Doctor Who. I have mostly watched the new ones, but I have had a good sampling on the classic Doctors.


2) Top Chef. I love cooking competitions. For real, it is unhealthy how much I love them.


3) Star Trek. Pretty much any of them, but my absolute fave is Voyager. Janeway is a freaking boss! 

The Long Promised BEAN BIRTHDAY POST

I am finally fulfilling my promise of telling the Bean's first birthday story! Yay me.

So, we got up and had blueberry muffins for breakfast. The Bean was a very happy Bean. He loves muffins. Casey put on The Beatles "Happy Birthday" while the Bean ate.

After breakfast, we gave the Bean his present from us. It is a sit to stand walker. He likes to push things so we figured this would be a perfect toy for him. Plus it is not electronic which is a plus for mommy.

Happy to push.

Then we took a milk break. He loves his milk!

We decided to try out the sitting function. He can only go backwards so far, but he will get the hang of it.

We went out to lunch/dinner with my mom. My child likes sushi. I WIN! Nothing raw of course, but he chowed down on a California roll like there was no tomorrow. I have the coolest baby.

Saturday was the big mustache bash. I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

Click here to view these pictures larger

And Then My Baby Turned 1

It is hard to believe that it has been a year (and 2 days) since I first held my sweet little boy in my arms. He had an awesome birthday and birthday party, more about those later (I haven't uploaded pics to my computer yet). In the meantime, here is a picture from each month. Enjoy!

  

I Never Learn

I just never do. Every time I make progress, I get shoved back by some stupid thing. Maybe it is time to deactivate my facebook for a while. It seems to be the main cause of my frustrations. Time for some fervent prayer.

Something Witty

Maybe I just need to preface things I say on facebook with something like:

I am not looking for advice, I am just here to complain.

I get tired of unsolicited advice sometimes. Maybe it just bothers me more right now because it is 1030, I am exhausted, but can't sleep because my brain won't shut up. It is times like these that make me want to drown my sorrows in a gallon of ice cream. Too bad we don't have the money for ice cream.

It Just Keeps Coming

Every time I think we are past the stress, it attacks again with full force. The Jeep died about a month or so ago. We have been trying to figure out where we were going to get a "new" car. We finally decided on a used LDS mission car. They are well maintained and less expensive than other used vehicles. After applying for a loan, being denied for not having enough of a credit history (that is a whole rant by itself), and finally getting approved for a loan, I thought it would be smooth sailing. False.

We are having issues with getting the actual check. The church wants one thing on the check, USAA wants something else. I just want to have our own car. I am very grateful for the super pleasant USAA people. They have been really wonderful through this whole process, but I am still frustrated. So much for my naive thought that this would be easy. I guess the universe showed me.

Stuck

Casey received a letter from Penn State today... he didn't get in. I can't say I am surprised, but I am still pretty devastated. I don't want to be here for another year. I want to get out of this tiny town and live somewhere else. I have been making an effort to be happy where I am, but frankly, this time in my life is pretty crappy. I see my husband for roughly 5 hours a day (that is time awake obviously) and then he is off to one job or the other. He works two jobs and we can still barely keep up with our bills. It won't always be like this. I just need to put my head down keep moving.

What Is Up With This

I have been feeling very angry the last couple of days and I can't figure out why. Tiny things set me off, Casey buying the Post for the crossword puzzle, comments made on Facebook, TV shows, and so forth. For those thinking, "oh, it must be a woman thing," it isn't. Maybe I need to just remove myself from the internet and most social interactions for a little bit, I don't know. I suppose we'll see if I feel better in the next few days and if not, there may be some drastic measures taken.

Little Changes: Update

Remember those little changes that I was working on in my life? I am doing decently well with them. I have been reading my scriptures almost every day. Some days life just gets in the way. I have been much more consistent about praying. I am really good about the nighttime prayers, morning is still a bit of a struggle. Journal writing... not so much. It takes too much mental energy most days. Plus, we have a lot of frustrating things going on right now and I know I should write about them, but I don't want to. I will get better about it eventually. Everything is a process.

Life is hard, but good. I love my little man. He is pulling himself up on things and "cruising" from one piece of furniture to the next. He crawls on all fours now and is quite fast. He figured out how to open cabinets in the kitchen so we have to be extra vigilant. He babbles all the time. "Dada" is his favorite thing to say, but he also says "mama." He is just so big!

I Believe in Many Things

I've been feeling impressed to write about some things. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe things that often seem strange to others. I just feel the need to write some of my feelings and thoughts.

I believe that the power of God is on the earth. There was an apostasy sometime after the death of Christ and that power was taken from the earth for many years. I believe it was restored, to be held by worthy men of the LDS church. That may seem unfair to people of other faiths or women in the church, but I feel great comfort in knowing that I do not have to carry that heavy responsibility. I do not feel less because I don't hold the priesthood. I have never felt like a second class citizen because of it. The women of the church hold great responsibilities as well. We work in conjunction with the men, not beneath them. It is sometimes hard for me to understand why women would want to hold the responsibility of the priesthood as well as the responsibility for raising children, tending to the sick and needy, and supporting those around us. I feel a great burden when I think of my responsibilities and I would not want to add to it. That said, I do not think of the priesthood as a burden. Neither does my husband, my father, or my grandfather. They carry that power with faith and diligence. They stand as the pillars of my family and I want nothing more than to raise my sons in that wonderful tradition.

My family is eternal. We have been sealed together by the power of God and I have faith that we will be together after this life. It always makes me sad when I hear the phrases "till death do us part" or "as long as you both shall live." I never want to be separated from my husband and thanks to the sealing power, exercised by a man with the proper authority in the temple, we will be together for eternity. Temples are some of my favorite places on earth. My goal was always to prepare myself for the covenants I have made in the temple. People often ask what happens in temples. It is not some weird, secret craziness. We do not sacrifice animals or unearth dead relatives to dunk them in water. We perform sacred rituals that bring us closer to God, our Heavenly Father. We don't speak about them freely because they are sacred and it is not appropriate to discuss sacred things in most settings.

The last thing that has been weighing heavily on my mind is the matter of the LDS Church's stance on same-sex marriage. It seems to me that the church does not often actively endorse political movements. We are encouraged to go out, research, and participate in politics according to our conscience, so when the church leaders speak out in favor of (or against) a particular idea, prop 8 for one, I think it means something. I have no problem with the GLBT community. It is their prerogative to live their chosen life. It is my prerogative to disagree with same-sex marriage. No, I don't think that it would lead to people marrying inanimate objects or other such ridiculousness, but I think it makes a mockery of things that I hold sacred. I am all for civil unions having the same legal rights as marriage. I think it is unfair that they don't, but I will never be able to support something that the men I believe receive direct inspiration from God do not support. I am not following blindly. I have formed my own opinion based on researching the church's teachings and secular ideas of the subject.

I believe that the LDS church contains a fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that everyone has some measure of the truth. I do not try to convince people that I know everything because I don't. I just felt the need to write down some of the things I believe and know. I know that Heavenly Father loves each and every one of us. I also know that he has set forth commandments and guidelines for us to follow. He loves us when we make mistakes, but mercy cannot rob justice. He must be a just God and in order to do that and be a loving God He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to atone for our sins. That atonement provides a way for all of us to come back to live in His presence, IF we obey his commandments and receive ordinances. Christ himself said that we must be baptized of water and of the spirit. I have faith that if I do what I am supposed to do, I will be able to live with my Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. That is what I believe.

11 Things From Me

This is all Ann's fault. Just kidding. I was looking for a non-frustrated-with-my-life thing to blog about.

• right brained or left brained?
• Most of my time is spent in the left brain, but when I am doing something creative I am all right brain.
• what was the last spontaneous thing you did?
• Not sure, the last truly spontaneous thing I did was probably kissing Casey for the first time. I know, it has been a while. I don't consider eating out or things like that to be spontaneous, so yeah. There it is. I kissed him in the back of his Jeep... while I was still writing to my missionary. Not my most shining moment, but it turned out well in the end.
• what was the last movie you watched?
• I watch a lot of TV shows. The last movie I watched was Holes, I think.
• what is your dream vacation?
• Around the world cruise.
• do you have any addictions that you have no interest in overcoming?
• Sushi.
• what is your favorite thing to cook or comfort food?
• I love cooking pretty much everything. My comfort food is anything I don't have to cook.
• if you could have any super power what would you choose & why?
• Teleportation. I would be able to go anywhere I wanted. Being able to go see my family anytime I want? Uh, yeah.
• what is the best childhood memory that you have?
• The Christmas that my dad didn't have a job. Weird, right? Here is why, I learned a very important lesson. Tithing is more important than we can possibly imagine. My parents chose to pay tithing instead of buying gifts for us. We had such an outpouring of support and love from our ward and random strangers. I remember looking out the window, seeing people run from our door as they rang the doorbell. I didn't realize at the time what that meant, but when I saw my mom sitting on the stairs, with tears in her eyes, opening a box full of food, toys, and clothes, I knew that we were loved.
• did you ever have an imaginary friend? If so tell me about them!
• I did not. Sorry to be boring.
• what modern convenience could you not live without?
• Oh gosh, there are so many. I'm gonna have to go with the internet. I would go crazy without it! Recipes, blogs, pointless games, friends, etc. Who doesn't love the internet?
• what was your favorite tv show growing up?
• Wishbone, Magic School Bus, and Pokemon.

Negativity Sucks

It is true, negativity sucks out all your energy. I get so tired of my own negativity, not to mention other people's negativity. I get on Facebook and see all these angry posts about the government, the weather, family, life, jobs, etc. It makes me tired. The hard things I am going through make me tired. It is time to focus on the positive and steer clear of the negative.

I am certainly not always a positive person. I have more than my fair share of angry thoughts and words, but I know that when I focus on the good things, good things happen. I am a firm believer that your actions and thought bring about consequences that mirror them. Good things come when we are doing what we need to do. That is not always the case, but it helps me keep positive.

I have been trying very hard to focus on the things I have instead of the things I don't. It is important to be thankful for the infinite blessings that I have. I have started having at least one personal prayer that is focused on being thankful. It is so easy to be grateful for all of the amazing things that I have. I have a wonderful husband, an amazing baby boy, fantastic parents, this list could go on for days. Worrying about our nasty, old couch or that we don't have enough bookshelves doesn't accomplish anything. I have everything I need right now and I will receive the things I want when it is the right time.

I acknowledge the hard things in my life, but I am slowly learning to not dwell on them. I've heard a lot of people say: "The Book of Mormon says, 'it came to pass,' not 'it came to stay.'" That needs to be my focus. This too shall pass.

Experiments in Baking

I made red velvet cheesecake brownies for the ladies I visit teach. I thought it would be a good Valentine's day treat. I took pictures of the whole process and then realized that I didn't take a picture of the finished product! You will have to take my word for it that they looked pretty close to the ones on the recipe. So, here is the recipe.

Eggs, sugar, food coloring, and vanilla look weird together.

Melted chocolate and butter

Mix everything together and add the flour.

Pour it in the pan.

Make the cheesecake topping

Dollop

Swirl

They are really yummy and cute. It was a fun adventure. I really like being in the kitchen and cooking new things. I'll be adding this to my repertoire. 

Wreath Obsession

So, this year I want to make a wreath for every month. So far I have 4 of 12. February, March, June, and December. I finished the March wreath a couple days ago and it is AWESOME! Here is my inspiration:


Thank you to Ramblings From the Sunshine State for the inspiration.

Here is mine:



Here are the pictures and how I did it.

I started by wrapping my round foam wreath form with dark green yarn.

Then I combined my three colors and made a ball for easier wrapping.

It is kind of a pain to wrap all three at the same time, but it is totally worth it. It looks awesome!

Then I took felt and cut out my rainbow flags (2 sides). I attached them with tacky glue to a piece of yarn and tied the ends to the wreath. I took the same felts and cut circles and then spirals to make the rosettes. Once I cut the spirals (I forgot to take pics of that part), I rolled them with dots of glue to keep them together and pinned them to the wreath. The pot of gold is double sided and the coins are just circles of yellow felt. Easy-peasy. 

I am kind of obsessed with yarn-wrapped wreaths! They are so cool looking and way easier than I thought they would be. 

And now, for something completely different!

This is my ridiculously mobile child. He can pull himself up on things, not always successfully, but he is way too good at it for my taste.

Little Changes

I am trying to make a few little changes to help my emotional, mental, and spiritual health. I am doing pretty well on my physical health. Eating healthier foods, working out for 30 mins every weekday. That was a good change. I feel better, I have a little more energy, I am stronger, and getting more toned, which, after a baby, I certainly won't say no to.

I am trying very hard to pray morning and night. I am good about night prayers, but morning prayers are harder with a baby. I have to make an effort to remember to pray when I wake up to a fussing baby. Slowly but surely I'm getting there with that.

I am also trying to read my scripture every day. I have never been able to be consistent and I can feel it when I am not. I feel more energy when I read my scriptures. It seems like it wouldn't make that much of a difference, but it really does for me. I've taken the promises of prophets and put them to the test. Those promises are true.

There are still a few things I want to be better about, blogging for one. Writing in my journal is something else that I really need to improve. I haven't written in longer than I would care to admit. There was a time when I wrote at least every other day. I also want to start reading like I used to, but I am just so tired by the time I can actually sit down and do it that I just end up watching mindless tv shows. I've started going to bed a little earlier and reading for a little while to calm my mind and help me fall asleep faster. Baby steps are my focus right now and I feel like I am making a lot of progress. All these little things make a huge difference to me.

These Are the Days

I have a difficult child. I know that everyone's kids are difficult in their own way, but I feel my difficulties every day, almost all day. Yes, that includes nighttime. You see, Benjamin does not like to sleep. He will take 3 naps, but none of them are more than 30 minutes. He will follow these naps with about 30 minutes of smiles and fun times and then it is back to being tired, fussy, and in constant need of attention. When I put him down for a nap, he screams. When I put him in his crib at night, he screams. The only times he doesn't do it is when someone is over or his daddy is home. He wakes up at least twice in the early morning and cries for food. I have let him cry for an hour and a half before and he will not go back to sleep unless I get up and feed him.

Anyone who knows me knows that I need more sleep than most people. I don't function well without it. That being said, I haven't had a full night of sleep since November of 2010. I am running on empty. My body craves nothing but sugar and I have to force myself to make healthier choices. I love my sweet little boy, but he takes everything I have. I felt strong impressions that we needed to have a baby when we did, but sometimes I wonder why this is that time. What am I supposed to learn from this experience? I don't quite know yet. i hope I figure it out soon so I can move on to a new learning experience that requires less lost sleep.

Some of My Craftings

Here are some of the crafty things I have made over the last year.

 I made this for my cousin's little girl, Sadie Kay

Egg carton ghosts

This whole thing cost me $6 (excluding paint and scrapbook paper)

Melted crayon art

Same frames as the 'Boo' different background

Wrapping paper and wood letters

This one is for my good friend's baby Cassandra

I won't be making another one of these for a while. They are hard and take forever.

Valentine's Day wreath

Spring or Summer wreath