Feeling Ignored

I've been struggling to feel like Heavenly Father cares about me. It seems like everything I pray for or about is just pushed aside and I am left thinking "why am I not being heard?" 

I prayed that Casey would get into more schools than Syracuse, nothing. 

I prayed that he would get the TAship, nada. 

I prayed that this baby would be a girl, no luck. 

I prayed that we would be able to rent the house we really wanted, more nothing. 

I pray to be able to sleep well, I get 5-6 hours a night.

There are some things that are being heard. Casey always comes home safe from work. The Bean is healthy and so is the baby. Somehow I am able to function well enough to keep my family alive. Those should be enough to make me feel like I am being heard, but I feel like those things would probably be that way anyway. I'm just tired of knowing that Syracuse is where we need to go and yet having no foreseeable way to live there. I'm tired of praying for things and having the exact opposite happen. I'm tired of feeling ignored by the one being that is always supposed to be there for me.

Fear not! I am not going to leave my faith behind. I'm just going to take a Pioneer approach. I will put my head down and just keep pushing the cart. I just hope that one day I won't have to feel this way.

Please, don't offer advice, scripture verses, or "comforting words." I've heard most and they are not helpful right now. 

How I Bust Out Food Prep

The last few weeks I have finally jumped on the weekly food prep bandwagon. I love it! I have (mostly) healthy snacks for a whole week and it makes my life far less stressful. So, here is how I do it without being totally overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day.

Step One:
I peruse my pinterest boards on Sunday while I am menu planning (that is a story for another post). I have mine pretty well organized these days. I usually end up picking about 10 recipes at first. Muffins, quick breads, cookies, and crackers are my snack staples.

Step Two:
I narrow down the recipes to 4 or 5. I do this in conjunction with what produce/ingredients are on sale. We like muffins and quick breads with lots of fruit. I check what I have on hand and what I still need and then make my shopping list. I also look for deals on produce that makes a good snack as is. Carrots, cucumbers, watermelon, strawberries, etc. I also buy extra eggs to boil for a quick snack or as part of a meal.

Step Three:
Shopping day! My budget is pretty low ($30-35) so I try to use recipes that have similar ingredients. Most weeks I do prep the same day as shopping, but I will make it a separate step anyway.

Step Four:
Baking. I use recipes straight from my laptop to save on paper... and because our printer is dead. I arrange baked goods in order of baking temp, lowest to highest. It means I don't have to wait for the oven to cool down in between recipes. As soon as one recipe is in the oven, I start working on the next. I end up with plenty of time to sit and relax between recipes most of the time. Taking breaks is VERY important. You don't want to get burnt out early in the process.

Step Five:
Other prep. I wash all the produce and get it ready to cut. Then I chop everything up, put it in bags or containers, and put it in the fridge. I finally found a way to hard boil eggs that works for me. First, I bring them to room temperature because it makes them easier to peel. That is why hard boiled eggs are the last thing I do. I put them in a sauce pot, cover them (and add a little extra) with water, stick them on the stove, turn it to high, and wait for them to come to a rolling boil. Once they are boiling, I turn off the heat, cover the pot, and set the timer for 10 minutes. Once the timer goes off, I run the eggs under cold water until they are cool to the touch. Then they get dried off and put in the fridge.

So, there it is. My weekly food prep in a nutshell. If I have more than 12 muffins or one loaf of quick bread I bag it up and throw it in the freezer for the next week. One moderately tiring day and a week full of mostly healthy snacks for the three of us.

My Photo Book

Click here to view this photo book larger

100th Post

In honor of my 100th post, I'm going to tell you all about my day of snack prep!

I came in almost 10 bucks under my food budget for this week! How did I do it? Kroger had AMAZING sales on produce. I came home with a big bunch of overripe bananas, 3 zucchini, 3 yellow squash, 1 pound of carrots, a few apples, a huge bunch of cilantro, and a pound of strawberries along with my non-produce groceries: a pound of brown rice, chicken and beef bullion, 3 packs of hot dogs, 18 eggs, and a gallon of milk.

I have been trying to avoid buying snack food as much as possible a) because it is expensive and b) most of it is super unhealthy. I've also been trying to make healthier food for Casey to lose weight, the Bean to grow up with good food, and for me to not gain a ton of weight this pregnancy. I always menu plan on Sundays and I focused on meatless meals this week. Pottage (brown rice, lentils, and veg) and black bean soup are the two that will provide plenty of leftovers. So, as far as snacks go, I wanted snacks with lots of fruit and veggies involved. I have a lot of sweet things on my pinterest and I scoured my board for healthy ones. I decided on peanut butter breakfast cookies, peanut butter bread, strawberry banana greek yogurt bread, spiced carrot muffins, and mini vanilla wafers. I figured if I just did it all in one day, I would have snacks for the week and not have to worry about feeding me or the Bean while Casey is at work. I probably won't make the pb bread again. It is pretty crumbly and a little dry, but everything else is delicious! The only really unhealthy thing is the vanilla wafers, but I can't be healthy all the time.

So, there it is. I made a lot of food today. My feet hurt, I am exhausted, and I never want to mash another banana in my life, but I'm glad I did it. Having one less thing to think about makes room for things like cleaning up the huge mess that is my kitchen. Maybe I do have that 2nd trimester energy everyone always talks about. *Phew* What a day!

Yet Again

Yet again, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Well, more like I couldn't keep my personal feelings to myself. At least this time, the person offended addressed it in private. I just need to post nothing but fluff on Facebook because no one wants to read my opinions and I just end up feeling like a tool every time I express them about something I am passionate or feel very strongly about. No one wants to read about how hard my situation is. People just want happy snapshots of the perfect and easy life of a housewife and mom, cute stories about the Bean, and pictures shares that are 100% uncontroversial. I never learn. I have been getting longer stretches between these episodes of my own douchbaggery, but they still happen. Sometimes I hate the internet.

As my uncle says, "It isn't Facebook, it is Affirmation-book." I just need to make sure that everything I post is affirmation worthy and has no real substance. People don't want substance and if they do, they only want it to be on their side of things. I need to be more like my mom and just lurk, not participate.

Nailed It!

I have been working on a nail and string art project for almost a year. I finally finished it!!! Here it is in all the nail and string glory! It is a PAIN to do these. I'm probably going to add something at the bottom later, but I'm just glad I can cross a project off my lengthy list.

p.s. I used THIS tutorial

Refried Beans

Ok, so, I follow a blog called Budget Bytes. They break down recipes by cost total and cost per serving. I'm taking a leaf out of their book for these refried beans that I made.

Sorry, I didn't take a picture.

1 lb dry pinto beans (sorted, and washed) : $1.18 at Walmart
1/2 of a large onion, chopped: ~$0.30
2 Tbsp olive oil: ~$0.45
Salt to taste
Seasonings to taste

Place the sorted and washed beans in a large, deep pot. Cover with water and add another 3 inches. Bring the water and beans to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Simmer for 1.5-3 hours, the beans are done when they are soft and the skins start to split. It only took 1.5 hours for mine, but my gas stove keeps a pretty high simmer.

Once the beans are cooked, drain them and set aside. Put the oil and onions in a large pan, saute them until they are translucent, or for more flavor, brown them a little. Add the beans and about 1/2 cup water to the pan and smash them with a potato masher or anything else that you have on hand. Once they are well smashed, add salt and seasonings. Always taste, taste, taste! When they taste delicious and are nice and smashed, they are done. I added a little fresh cilantro for an extra kick.

This recipe makes at least 2-3 cans worth of delicious, non-additive filled refried beans. I will never buy canned refried beans again!