Little Changes

I am trying to make a few little changes to help my emotional, mental, and spiritual health. I am doing pretty well on my physical health. Eating healthier foods, working out for 30 mins every weekday. That was a good change. I feel better, I have a little more energy, I am stronger, and getting more toned, which, after a baby, I certainly won't say no to.

I am trying very hard to pray morning and night. I am good about night prayers, but morning prayers are harder with a baby. I have to make an effort to remember to pray when I wake up to a fussing baby. Slowly but surely I'm getting there with that.

I am also trying to read my scripture every day. I have never been able to be consistent and I can feel it when I am not. I feel more energy when I read my scriptures. It seems like it wouldn't make that much of a difference, but it really does for me. I've taken the promises of prophets and put them to the test. Those promises are true.

There are still a few things I want to be better about, blogging for one. Writing in my journal is something else that I really need to improve. I haven't written in longer than I would care to admit. There was a time when I wrote at least every other day. I also want to start reading like I used to, but I am just so tired by the time I can actually sit down and do it that I just end up watching mindless tv shows. I've started going to bed a little earlier and reading for a little while to calm my mind and help me fall asleep faster. Baby steps are my focus right now and I feel like I am making a lot of progress. All these little things make a huge difference to me.

These Are the Days

I have a difficult child. I know that everyone's kids are difficult in their own way, but I feel my difficulties every day, almost all day. Yes, that includes nighttime. You see, Benjamin does not like to sleep. He will take 3 naps, but none of them are more than 30 minutes. He will follow these naps with about 30 minutes of smiles and fun times and then it is back to being tired, fussy, and in constant need of attention. When I put him down for a nap, he screams. When I put him in his crib at night, he screams. The only times he doesn't do it is when someone is over or his daddy is home. He wakes up at least twice in the early morning and cries for food. I have let him cry for an hour and a half before and he will not go back to sleep unless I get up and feed him.

Anyone who knows me knows that I need more sleep than most people. I don't function well without it. That being said, I haven't had a full night of sleep since November of 2010. I am running on empty. My body craves nothing but sugar and I have to force myself to make healthier choices. I love my sweet little boy, but he takes everything I have. I felt strong impressions that we needed to have a baby when we did, but sometimes I wonder why this is that time. What am I supposed to learn from this experience? I don't quite know yet. i hope I figure it out soon so I can move on to a new learning experience that requires less lost sleep.

Some of My Craftings

Here are some of the crafty things I have made over the last year.

 I made this for my cousin's little girl, Sadie Kay

Egg carton ghosts

This whole thing cost me $6 (excluding paint and scrapbook paper)

Melted crayon art

Same frames as the 'Boo' different background

Wrapping paper and wood letters

This one is for my good friend's baby Cassandra

I won't be making another one of these for a while. They are hard and take forever.

Valentine's Day wreath

Spring or Summer wreath

The Happy Things

There have been a lot of happy things in my life lately. My dad was able to be here for Benjamin's blessing. He is deployed at the moment, so we waited until he could come. It was important for me to have him there. He and my mom were here for Thanksgiving and we shared our delicious food with Erik and Mariel. My dad loves Benjamin. He can't get enough of him, but then... neither can my mom. They are now Oma and Opa to avoid confusion in the future.

Benjamin is wonderful. He is learning and growing so fast that I can hardly keep up. He can grab things that are in front of him without help. He is learning to put everything in his mouth. He loves tummy time and will stick his little bum way up in the air as if he wants to launch forward. I won't lie, I don't want him to be mobile yet. Too much work for me =P. He still won't sleep through the night, but I made the decision to start putting him on formula. I agonized over it for quite a while before finally deciding that it is the best thing for me and it is better for him. He doesn't get hungry as quickly which means he sleeps longer. I can get 4 hours out of him instead of 3. He isn't a huge fan of formula and I am still nursing him every other feeding for now, but he is doing just fine and I am doing better too. I never enjoyed nursing. I never felt that bonding that so many women do. I felt like it was just a means to an end. I get more bonding from bottle feeding. I know I could pump and all that, but Benjamin also doesn't handle my milk when I have been drinking cow's milk. He spits-up a lot when I have milk and then he nurses. I am not a huge milk drinker by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy it on cereal and whatnot.

On the eating front, Benjamin loves his rice cereal! He would probably eat that all day if I would let him. He took to it no problem and I can't wait for him to try other foods in a couple of months. He is doing pretty well with bath time again, but he wants to sit up on his own and it makes him hard to bathe. Oh babies, they are just so unpredictable. I sure do love my little boy.

Casey is now working a second job so that we can pay all our bills and have food to eat. He works at Subway in the mornings and the Hut at night. It is hard to have him gone so much, but we are managing the best we can. He is a trooper and I am grateful that he is willing to work so hard to provide for us. This coming week we are taking a trip for our anniversary. Yes, it was on the 24th, but that was not an ideal travel time. His wonderful mom is going to be watching Ben for the time we will be gone and I am looking forward to some uninterrupted sleep.

Margret and Benjamin... not fighting

We were The Who for Haloween

Matching argyle

Our Doctor Who pumpkins

Froggie bum!

He is pretty dang cute!

He loves the bugs

Remember That One Time?

Yeah, remember that time when I was going to be more consistent in posting. Babies just take so much time.

Benjamin is 3 and a half months old. He rolls over from tummy to back and back to tummy. He will be crawling before I know it. He can grab the bug toys that hang from his swing and pulls them to get them to make noise. I am amazed by how impressive he is. He laughs, smiles, and makes super cute noises. He is mostly in 3 months stuff, but he can wear some 3-6 and even some 6 month clothes. He is just so sturdy.

He has a little cold right now and it makes me sad. His little nose is all stuffy and he has a wet, but not hacking, cough. I just want to make it all better, but there is so little I can do.

Picture time!

10 Years

It is hard for me to believe that it has been 10 years. I remember everything so clearly. We had just moved into our townhouse in Burke. I was working on my schoolwork that morning when my brother turned on the TV. That was an unusual occurrence. My mom made a rule that we could not have the TV on if our sibling was on the computer working on schoolwork. I wasn't really paying attention until he called to my mom to come down to the basement. "A plane hit the World Trade Center." He said calmly.

My mom sat down to see what the reporters were saying and as she did we watched the second plane hit the towers. We couldn't believe it. She said it was a terrorist attack. I immediately freaked out and started crying. She calmed me down and soon after we got a phone call from my aunt who was in a panic. "Is Mike ok?" she asked frantically. We didn't know why until seconds later when the report came that the Pentagon was hit as well. My mom let her know that my dad was not in the Pentagon since he was in Arizona at the time. As soon as she was off the phone with my aunt, my mom called my Grandma Stacey to let her know that her son was ok. My grandma was never an emotional woman. My dad told me once that he had only seen her cry once. She cried when she found out her youngest son was ok.

We sat and watched the news all day. We watched the towers fall and brave men and women try and save lives. I can't even begin to imagine how the people in New York felt. It was all so surreal and scary and I was hundreds of miles away from them. I was not hundreds of miles away from the Pentagon. I went outside and saw a faint plume of smoke. I don't know if it was from the Pentagon or not, but I knew that my perception of safety here would never be the same.

I am so grateful to the men and women who risk their lives every day to protect this country. I wish that it did not have to come at so high a cost. I wish that there was a way to ease the pain of those who lost loved ones on that awful day. I wish that people would be quicker to remember instead of being so quick to forget. September 11, 2001 changed our country forever. Let us always remember what happened on that day, but not dwell on it. Let us learn from it and come together as a nation. On that day, a woman in France said, "Today we are all American." Politics, party lines, differing opinions. Let us set them aside and feel the way that french woman felt. Today we are all American. Don't ever forget that.

Ok, Seriously?

I fail at blogging. My sweet little bean is almost 6 weeks old and I have yet to say one word about him. So, here goes.

Labor and Delivery:
I woke up at about 6:30 on July 20th (4 days after my due date) with contractions. It took me about 2 hours to realize that is what they were, but they were contractions nonetheless. I woke up Casey, he showered and by that point the contractions were about 6 minutes apart. We decided to head up to the hospital (45 minute drive) and got on the road. Of course we called my mom and Casey's mom and they both started heading for the hospital. My mom had a 9 hour drive, Linda didn't.

We got to the hospital, checked in, and they checked me out. 1cm dilated... I just about had a fit. It was inconceivable to me that I could be having such close and painful contractions without being farther along. They had me stay for an hour, checked me again and... no progress. The doctor suggested we go wander around the mall for a while. That was not a possibility since I could hardly stand up when the contractions hit every 5 minutes. We went to the hospital cafeteria and had some lunch, I didn't eat much. Then we went down to the lobby and sat there until I couldn't stand it anymore.

We went back up and, lo and behold, 3cm dilated! Huzzah! I got checked in and sat in the jacuzzi for a while until I was in too much pain to even do that. Casey was a champ the whole time. I got back in the bed and they gave me some painkillers, but didn't want to give an epidural until I was a little closer to having the baby. I should have insisted. They checked me at about 5 and I was 5cm dilated. The midwife still hesitated to give me the epidural. An hour later I was 9.5cm and pretty much ready to push. My mom go there just in time. I pushed for 30 mins and at 6:35 pm...

Benjamin Casey Adams was born!


8lbs 5oz 19.75 inches. He is healthy and wonderful.

We took him home on the 22nd. My mom left on the 29th. That was hard. She was a big help. Fear not! Casey's birthday was not forgotten. We had a nice dinner at home with his parents and my mom. It was really nice.

Benjamin had his first appointment on the 26th. He was unhappy about being naked to be weighed and measured. He is not a fan of being naked. For the first month or so he wouldn't breastfeed so I had to pump and bottle feed him, then suddenly he started breastfeeding. Babies are weird.

He is almost 6 weeks now and he is awesome! He smiles and makes eye-contact. I have a ton of pictures still on my camera that I need to download. I will still put some of the older ones up.

He is a hipster baby


This might be my favorite picture of him so far!

This was a lucky pic. I love him so much!

He twitches a lot when he sleeps


I will try to update more consistently. We'll see how long that lasts.