When Things Change

Every year I feel the urge to write about this day. How my world completely shifted that day. How I knew the world would never feel truly safe again. How strange everything seemed. This year is no exception. 

This year, as I look at my sweet two year old son and feel my unborn son kick me again, I can't help but wonder if they will have such an experience. My parents have had several. They were in Berlin when The Wall fell. Something that never seemed possible, but it happened. That was a happy and amazing thing. September 11th wasn't. 

I remember exactly where I was. I remember exactly what I was doing. I remember my brother turning on the tv, which was strange since I was in the middle of my schoolwork, and then he called for my mom. I looked over at the tv and saw the North tower of the World Trade Center billowing smoke. I thought to myself how strange it was that a plane could lose control and fly into a building. Then we watched the second plane hit. My mom stood there, very calmly, and said "this is a terrorist attack." I panicked. I cried and was terrified. A little while later, the phone rang. My mom answered it and said "He (my dad) is in Arizona on tdy, why?" The call was from my Aunt Sherry in Utah. Then the news changed again. A plane hit the Pentagon. My mom covered her mouth and began to cry. She said goodbye to Sherry and called her parents, my dad's siblings, and his mom to let them know my dad wasn't at the Pentagon that day. My grandma Stacey was not an emotional woman. She cried when she knew her youngest son was safe. I went outside to try and calm down. I could see smoke far off in the distance. 

We watched the news all that day. We watched it all the next day. My dad couldn't get home because so many airports were closed. We were ready to drive out the Arizona to pick him up because we just wanted him home. He finally got a flight and when he got home we hugged and cried and thanked Heavenly Father that he was safe. We prayed for the families who were suddenly without their loved ones. We prayed for rescue workers who were still trying to save anyone they could. We prayed for the president and his advisers. We prayed to not be afraid. 

My sons will never know what it is like to not need a ticket to go past security in the airport. They will grow up in a world where people will always use 9/11 as a day the world changed because it is. I know mine did. Today I will pray for those who lost loved ones, I will pray for our world leaders, and I will pray that one day we can live in a world of peace and security.